So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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