if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
