why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
