Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
