He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
