Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
