talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
