Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
