I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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