My brain says no but my pants say off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
