You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
