He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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