I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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