Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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