Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
