he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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