He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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