they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
