I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
