I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize