Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
