they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
