i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
