question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
