There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
