i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
