I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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