Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
