It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
