11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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