The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
