weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
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