There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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