the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
