I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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