Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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