He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
