Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
