the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
