Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Randomize
