It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
