Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
