Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
