dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
