Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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