I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize