Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
