It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
