yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
