The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
