you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
