Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize