This girl is more easily done than said...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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