I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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