Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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