I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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