He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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