I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
