is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
