he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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