wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
