Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize