All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
