I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
