Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize