Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
